It’s late.. and at this very moment, I’m very calm and relaxed; but over the course of the day, I’ve just been letting my mind run through severe bouts of anxiety. Lol, I guess it’s only anxiety if I’m in a bad mood. But honestly, I just don’t know what to do with myself.. I do. But I don’t. Isn’t it so weird when you know the cold, raw truth of a situation, but you still feed into it? It kinda sucks. It just feels so natural, for me to love you—but trusting you feels foolish. I always get my hopes up when I’m with you.. But they can’t seem to remain so cheery when you’re away. I get this intuition… This strong intuition that something’s up. It doesn’t all feel right. The feelings are there, the connection is there, but the vibe is shaky.. It doesn’t feel true. Truthfully, I know what it is… but I just always end up catering to you. I feel like you have power over me. I feel like you have something against me… Why can’t I get through to you? Why don’t you listen to me? I cry and I plead, but for some reason, you just don’t budge. I’ve realized while typing this that I reveal all my insecurities.. I’ve realized that it isn’t you, it’s me. I’ve realized that I’m saying these words to myself, and all I’m doing is crying out for help. For some reason I want yours.. For some reason I need you. But it’s unfair of me, to put it all on you. I just need someone to listen, someone to dump this weight on.. But it’s just that I’m picky and I just hold on.. to you. You make me feel blue… but my heart skyrockets when I’m next to you. You act like you don’t care and you hide all these emotions; but I always know you feel like this too.. I mean, I suppose, it is what it is… But I just feel the need to fallback a bit. I can’t lie, it’s you; but it’s really me. I need to understand myself and demolish these insecurities. I know they’re not me, and I know that «eye» see.. but for some reason, I’m just blinded.