The Curse of Empathy

Empathy is a beautiful thing. Empathy is the ability to relate to one another through feeling.. Literally feeling their emotions, and almost being able to enter into their mindset.. and spirit. Dude lmao my little sister is like on FaceTime w her friend in my room and it is the biggest distraction…. But I will stand tall lol. Anyway, when you are empathetic, you pick up on the undertones of people’s voice, and their body language, the way they say things, what their eyes do when they say it, if they’re fidgeting with their hands while talking to you, and little subliminal things of that nature.. With this ability, you then become super compassionate (or not) to the lives of other people because you are able to understand exactly what they are going through and feeling. 

This is a gift and a curse. Yes, it is a gift to be able to relate so easily to people and form intimate connections almost immediately. However, it is so easy to lose yourself in other people.. With empathy, it is so easy to lose boundaries for your needs, wants, and desires because we always get so caught up in pleasing others. Truly, when you serve your empathetic side, you serve humanity.. which is a blessing and a curse. What we often forget is that as beautiful as humans are, we can also be just as wicked.. The id, the ego, and the superego (Freud)… The id and superego being the duality of human behavior. I actually recently realized that when you subscribe to your id, you are abiding by narcissism and when you listen to your superego, you are following empathy.. All while the ego is the balance. This is what empaths forget.. Sometimes we need to be selfish, sometimes we need to say “no” to other people, sometimes we need to take the time out of our days to find ourselves.. to understand our own thoughts, feelings, and consciousness…

That has been my struggle recently. As of right now, I’ve been overcoming it; but for the past few days (when I hadn’t been posting – I was on vacation, but still..)…. Hm actually no. My entire life lol. I actually feel like my time stance is inaccurate, but recently, I’ve just been feeling like I too often serve other people. While I do relate and connect very easily and definitely enjoy the company, I haven’t been enjoying my own company as much.. and that’s where «eye» come from. I find solace in solitude.. I find myself and my thoughts and my realizations and my happiness. However, this is why empathy must become compassion.. because you shouldn’t let other people determine your happiness and inner peace. Compassion is the understanding; empathy is the feeling.. and that’s what sets the two apart. With compassion, you don’t feel compelled to always give yourself away to people.. «eye» often feel like I take on too much shit. A large parts of me enjoys it.. but then people get very comfortable with giving you their bullshit and you easily become their punching bag. You must stand tall. You are not a place for people to dump their loads on you. You are a home. You are a being – an energy… and you, too deserve love, care, and affection.

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