Fire

What is this love? This burning.. fiery love, that I have been so privileged to experience. What is this passion? This fire inside me.. ignited by your presence. What is this pain? This feeling of ache that suppresses my soul. Why do I succumb to it? Where do I go? I’m afraid of experiencing this love. I’m afraid of seeing this love as it really is. Is it love? Or am I blinded? Have I blinded myself? Am I confused? Am I lost? Do I need to take the rose-colored glasses off? I want to feel your presence because I get high off your touch. I get high off your love. You take me to cloud 9.. and then back to 81. I want to feel your love for me.. I want to experience intensity. I’m done being scared and I’m done playing small because I’ve decided that I want it all. I want to take risks but I fear messing up, so sometimes I preserve my fantasies of our love. I want to experience everything you ever had because the love inside me is screaming for the past. I want to search, I want to discover. I want to know you like no other. I yearn for your touch and I long for your kiss. I know I don’t need you but I do need it. Something about the fire we make just can’t be extinguished.. because when I look at you, I see all my dreams wished. I wonder if you feel the same.. or are you to leave me, lost in my pain? Because if you are, go now.. but if not, come closer. I want to know that your heart is where my home is. 

One thought on “Fire

  1. You eva think that it’s your ego craving to overturn a rejection that keeps you longing for who you’ve lost? You’re clinging to the familiar, afraid… of the same pain repeating itself, but with another offender. You want to win, and you delude yourself it’s love, but it’s your competitive ego…wanting to rein in the 1 who got away so that relationship can be ended on your terms. {i’m just guessing.} Maybe it’s love. But I see you as afraid of spreading your intense passion too thin among mates. You settled on 1 & put all your eggs in that basket & then lost the basket; so you crave it back because you gave all of you to him. And he’s gone; with your heart. You just want to take your heart back. You don’t love him, but he has your heart and you gotta get it back, to give it to another. But he won’t let you back to seize your heart, so you feel empty and defeated. But it’s psychological. You’re afraid to love another so chase the familiar. You mightn’t remember you are very attractive and lovable; & the negative criticisms you feel directed @ yourself are media driven. Our whole society is geared towards selling solutions to insecurity; so if you don’t love yourself society has defeated you, and the result is your ESCAPE into this lost love; that comfortable realm of the past, when you knew you were accepted and you long to be accepted again that purely & fear it may never occur. But you’re wrong. It will, cuz you’re very hot 🙂 You also know that what you had was safe and you fear losing again. 1 loss for you was enough. Your ego cannot bear to be rejected over and over; so you cling to who accepted you, flaws and all. That’s not very adventurous, Selah…

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